Book Clubs, Lutherans, and Mommy Blogs

I’ve reached a phase in my life where I need community and social networks to reaffirm this decade's decisions; which have led to the following reality slash non-dating website bio: 32 years old, married, career oriented, slightly neurotic, Mommy. I've gotten past the sleepless nights and the crippling anxiety that tells me it's logical to link my success as a mother to whether or not my son's nursery has matching furniture but I'm still trying to find that 'not hanging by a thread and a hostess cupcake' balance that I so desperately crave.

So, the only sane thing to do is acknowledge it's time to join a book club, find a progressive church I can force raise my family in without feeling like a hypocrite/traitor to all my lefty, inclusive politics, and lastly, get back in touch with my 'creative side' by reading and writing blogs (IE: find an 'outlet' for the all consuming crazy-mommy inner monologue that quite frankly, needs a new home, because my brain is getting a little tired).

But. You know. These are serious pursuits and take a lot of time to ponder, plan, and implement. And I don't have a lot of time because, in addition to parenting and working full-time, my Wednesday evenings are already booked with 'Teen Mom' and 'The Bachelor'. But despite these obstacles I seem to be on a roll. I am officially...

1) In a book club (attended 2 session, read 0 books, consumed a lot of wine. Check)

2) Contributing $2 dollars regularly into the pass-around-donation-basket at the ‘We Love Everybody Lutheran Church’. If that’s not commitment I don’t know what is. I even baked cookies for the Pastor (WHO IS A WOMAN!AS IN, NOT A MAN! MOM AND DAD, HOW WILL YOU EVER GET ME BACK TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH NOW?!!) and signed up for the “Homosexuality and the Church” workshop. Basically, I’m to the point where I can comfortably make statements like, "Well, as a Lutheran we believe...." and pretty much piss off anyone standing next to me in the room. Mission accomplished. And I have somewhere to go on Easter.

3) Dutifully stalking reading a set of well known 'mommy bloggers' who I view, hypothetically, as part of my closest friend circle (they are unaware of this development). I can read their posts everyday during my lunch break or while ignoring my husband at home. Following these blogs helps me fine tune my best skills: secretly coveting other people's lives and, alternately, self righteously judging and condemning them in a very enthusiastic manner. In addition to the massive personal growth opportunities this activity provides, I've also won a year's supply of free toilet paper by being a regular commenter on Girls Gone Child. Nothing more to say there. Justification DONE.

I have some theories about my need to fill the scary black hole that consists of the universal questions we all struggle with everyday: What happens after we die? Am I a good mom? How did that bag of McDonald's get into my car? Why does my hair look like this? How does one end haunting nightmares about rotten bananas hiding everywhere? But, instead of exploring these important questions further (let's leave that for the therapist) I'll indulge in why I think Church, books I would never read if left to my own devices, and hip-bloggy-moms are FAR SUPERIOR (fighting words? I think so!) to some other Portlandia sanctioned lifestyle activities that I have neither the pretention, energy, or patience for:

FARMER'S MARKETS: I'm very anti-farmer's market (I'll post more on this later and get everyone really hopped up mad at me) so I can't spend my Saturdays filling a basket with beet greens and chard.

HIKING: Hiking is out. (It doesn't involve a lot of sitting around, so I don’t do it.)

POUNDING THE PAVEMENT IN A NORTHFACE FLEECE(say that three times fast!): I'm not joining a mommy-baby-jogger group. Not happening. Same reason listed for #2. Look it up.

PROTESTING: I already attend a lot of sign waving rallies for my job (YEAH!) So, that can't really count as a hobby. Although I do love me some good protesting. Not gonna lie. Getting arrested is just icing on the cupcake.














To summarize, can I just say this about the book club: I really believe the driving force for joining these things (every single one of my friends in their 30's is in one) is that none of us have read anything besides US Weekly since we were in college. And, like, we've built our whole life on being smart and intellectual and feminist and stuff. Hence the internal embarrassment we feel when trying to figure out our answer when asked, "What have you been reading lately?" at all the non-existent dinner parties we think we are going to be invited to or host.

The book club is our fail-safe.We can just say "Well, you know we are actually reading ___________ in Book Club right now. It wouldn't have been my choice, but I'm actually finding it quite interesting." My other motivation for joining a book club is to co-opt all the members and start a alternative one where we read trashy romance novels and/or just watch TV. And then, somewhere deep inside our hearts, we'll feel a little smug and safe. Which is what we all secretly crave. Right? That and beet greens.

Days of Our Lives Recap and Comments

I was a die hard fan of Days of Our Lives for many, many years. To the point of video taping episodes if I missed them. Well, I'm sick today and as I'm sitting on the couch, blowing my nose, I DISCOVER that a little DOL is on! What? Fantastic! I'm behind, 8 years or so, but I'm pretty much able to follow along. After the show I hop on a recap website and check out the summaries. (Had a wee question about the evil twin plot line, and, on an interesting side note, the actor used to play a super cute hunky cop on Passions - my other favorite soap opera. Which has been cancelled. So sad.) Anyhoo, basically, the comments after the recap are priceless and the essentially the whole point of this post. Can anyone say 'Nurse Betty' for Poster #1? Holla!

Episode 11530 | Season 46 | 02/22/2011
Sami convinces Allie to go to the park with imposter Rafe. Imposter Rafe makes plans for Allie to be taken away, but Sami interrupts before they leave and says Lucas called. He wants Allie to visit him in Hong Kong and to leave tonight. Allie is desperate to go and tells Sami that Rafe was mean to her again. Sami doesn't believe that but agrees to let her visit her dad. Imposter Rafe fills in Stefano, who wonders if Sami is suspicious of him. Imposter Rafe says no but if that changes, he'll take care of her.

The real Rafe collapses and Stefano tells EJ he wants to move up the timetable for getting rid of him. EJ disagrees â€" he thinks Rafe is still useful. Stefano reluctantly backs down but says if the situation is ever out of control again... Rafe will be gone. Rafe starts to get better, determined to escape.

Taylor, thinking of EJ, spills coffee on herself and heads to the restroom just as EJ arrives at the Brady Pub. He sits down with Nicole, but is soon called away by Stefano. Taylor returns, just missing her mystery man. Nicole hopes the two of them will hit it off when they finally meet tomorrow at the wedding.

After talking to Johnny and Will, Chad tells EJ he'll be his best man at the wedding.

Chloe tells Philip she overheard Melanie telling someone that she's not fit to raise Parker. Melanie says Chloe is lying, and Philip believes Melanie. Distraught, Chloe runs off and tries to tell Nicole but she's distracted with wedding plans. A rattled Chloe says she can't be in the wedding. Meanwhile, Melanie tells Kate that Chloe is taking postpartum pills. Pleased, Kate is ready to take their plan to the next step and subtly convinces Chloe to throw out her postpartum medication.

Vivian finds out Brady stole Titan from Victor. She's thrilled and forces Brady to tell Philip. Philip is furious with Brady for betraying Victor while Vivian lords it over Victor, knowing his own flesh and blood has hurt and betrayed him more than she ever could.

COMMENTS

How funny it was to hear Kate call Chloe a ***** when Melanie is the actual *****. She slept with so many men who paid for her services. She should watch out for Aids or other STds. Why is it Kate is never found out. Chloe should return to her parents with her baby. Philip is stupid for believing the twit Melanie. She should have been gone from this show a long time ago, along with Carly. How can Daniel lose all love for Chloe, forgive Carly for something far worse, and not give Chloe another chance. She actually should go back to Brady who would take care of her. Oh by the way, if Allie is taken from Sami and given to others to raise her, I am done with this show. The same old story lines get repeated and repeated and Stefano is becoming crueler and crueler. Allie better get to her Dad's in Hong Kong, or it is bye, bye for me. Nicole and EJ and Kate and Stefano all should get their come uppance. What a dreadful theme for this show. Bring back the good actors, Marlena especially.

Jetman Tues. 2/22/11
February 22 - 2:09pm The actress portraying Ally is superb.

Cute little Ally
February 22 - 2:08pm PTIf anyone really buys it that Rafe being mean to Ally is a 'public service' topic, forget it. Take out some commercial air time to address the subject. Why are the children being portrayed as pawns who are kidnapped or have eyes cut out for instance.

Find something else
February 22 - 2:04pm PTChloe the adult is being bullied and abused by Kate. It didn't work the first time so guess she's going to get the job by making Chloe try to kill herself instead.

Guilt-less?
February 22 - 1:59pm PTI have to agree with people who commented on the horrific child abductions that have taken place in this country. It's one thing to address the subject but to focus on it so intensely more than once is a bit overdone. The poor little Allie character is so pathetic and sad reacting not unlike a child who is being abused.

Enough is enough
February 22 - 1:56pm PTWhat happened with the dinner set up between Daniel and Carly? Is that being dropped just like the pool table scene with Adrienne and Justin? Just when things were getting heated up with these two couplings, it vanishes into thin air in favor of Creepy plotline.

Give us the good stuff
February 22 - 1:51pm PT

One sentence at a time

Jack is 2 years old and 3 months old and he has started talking in sentences. Very interesting sentences. I am quick to forget, so I need to write them down *quick* before I lose them!

"You NOT a tiger. You a Mommy!" (after my best tiger roar rendition)

"Dat kitty sitting on da airplane" (when I asked him to tell me what the kitty in the picture book is doing --the kitty is sitting on a window sill~)

I tried again, "What's the kitty doing?"

Answer: "Dat kitty is looking at daddy!"

The world through the eyes of a two year old: priceless...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/44906978@N05/4988930614/in/set-72157624945269848/

What Makes Me Happy

1. Watching reality TV (we all knew that)
2. Sitting around & reading US Weekly, In Touch, Etc....
3. Chilling with one of my siblings or family
4. Everything Jackson
5. Sunday night procrastination

Baby Books, Scrap Booking, and The Fears That Keep Me Up at Night

Was I supposed to label each photo album by month?

I don't have a picture of the first step! Or the first tooth.

Scrap booking for the first time can be a lot of pressure. I don't even know if you are supposed to put a space between scrap and booking.

If I do go forward on this mission, will I wake up tomorrow with a mini van out front and a zip code in the midwest? Will I need a scrapbooking room in the corner of the den? Will I get a den?

It's definetely a line that, once crossed, brings you into a shadowy world of unknown cliches.

What I really have to say is...

...there's not a lot of point in blogging if you have lost your digital camera 4 months ago. Who wants to read a mommy blog when there are no awesome pictures attached of my son doing one of the following:

a) Walking around in circles with a steamer pot on top of his head (happened). Where did he get the pot? I don't know, I was in the bathroom when he procured it.

b) Hiding a gigantic glass measuring cup inside his high chair and secretly cuddling it with one arm like its his giant teddy bear / best friend when he thinks I'm not looking. (happened) Where did he get the measuring cup? I don't know, when I put him in the high chair, it was empty.

or

c) Talking on his 'cell phone' coaster. "Hewwo? Hewwo?" Where did he find the coaster? I don't know. We don't own any coasters.

All of these scenarios would be way cuter via snap shot. Sorry. I lose things a lot.

My son is really into kitchen utensils. That's our deal.

What are ya gonna do?

........

Sans digital camera - I have resorted to Facebook trolling to acquire some recent (ish) pics of the little dude:

IPOD Thoughts

All around us, the Mighty have fallen.

Tiger Woods.

Toyota.

Heidi Montag.



It doesn't pay to cheat, lie, cut corners, or get too much face work.