Sunday, March 8, 2009
Goodbye Maternity Leave. Maternity Clothes: You're Staying.
So, I am headed back to work next week. One. More. Week. That's it, then full time Mommy Duty is done. As much as I love my work (especially since it keeps me away from my couch and kitchen - two spots in the house I have gotten to know way too well over the past 4 months) I am worried about the following:
1) Who will observe Baby J's minute to minute changing facial expressions? There's more than I can count at this point, at least 18. He has 4 different takes on Confusion alone. As in: Mom, I am so confused about this, that, there, and up.
2) What if I have lost the ability to speak "Grown Up" and alienate co-workers with high pitched baby talk? "Who's little stapler is this? Is this mommy's little stapler? What sound does a stapler make? Clicky clicky clicky. Can you say clicky? Oh, who's the smartest little person standing in my cubicle about to staple my mouth shut? Clicky clicky cooooo....!"
3) How will I handle situations that involve people not wanting to peruse my digital camera to see for themselves the various expressions of my cool face making baby? For example, what if my boss doesn't think this should be on the agenda of my first day back to work check in meeting? Talk about tension, that would be really awkward.
4) All kidding aside, I don't want my little bugaboo (see, honestly I have no ability to talk normal) to sit for hours making confused faces that mean: Where is my mom? Where has she gone?
I truly believe every corny expression in the world was invented by parents. Because cliches just move in the second you bring a baby home. You think, I want to cherish every moment. I don't even use words like cherish. Well I do now, obviously.
I know this transition is going to be tough, especially at first. But I look forward to the times he will be able to tag along with me to various work events and have an understanding of what I do everyday when I leave him. He'll learn that he's been a part of my work before he was even born, when he was just a hope in my heart and a birthday wish as I blew out the candles, he was an inspiration to me to be someone that my children could be proud of. I want him to know I am taking time away from him for a few hours everyday (or even a lot of hours) because I am not only helping to put food on our table, I am also trying to dedicate my life to be in service to others, because I believe we have a responsibility to look out for one another, and to stand up and be counted not just for the big things in life, but everyday little by little we have to show up and say "I'm here, I'm ready to do my part". Because that's what my work is to me. That's what the Union means to me. It's my second family, and I love that J will be a part of that family too. One day I'll show him photo albums and say, "Look, you were in Mom's tummy then, you were with me when we worked to protect health care for kids" or "Here's you, a few months old, at the State Capital with me while we talked to State Senators" And as he grows older, he'll know exactly where I am when I'm not with him, I'm out there making a path for him - just like so many parents do, each in their own way.
For now, I'm going to savor, inhale, enjoy, extend, and cherish every single moment with him that I possibly can. I mean, just look at him:
PS -- I haven't written a post in awhile because I have not been able to upload video (I don't know how is the explanation for that) so I'm afraid of angry hate mail regarding my lack of Superman video I promised. I know, I know, I live in an imaginary world where people are obsessed with my blog and baby. This is not actually true but in any case, it's my rationale for not posting. Someday I will figure out how to upload video and then we can all sit back, sigh, and enjoy life, finally.