Friday, January 1, 2010

New Years Day 2010 *This Blog Posting Makes No Sense

With two weeks off work for the Holidays, an inch of snow, and a head cold that has consumed fourteen rolls of toilet paper tissue I am finding a lot of time to blog. Yes the snow has melted and I have child raising to keep me busy, but nap time yields an hour or so to kill. And deep thoughts + an aversion to housework = time to watch the Joy Behar show and reflect on life in 2010.

Well, so glad I did turn the channel to the HLN network because DOLLY PARTON was on!!!!!! Happy New Year to me! Now I am watching A Few Good Men which is kind of a buzz kill but I think we are going to pack it up and have a play date in a few minutes anyway. Before I go, here are a few choice quotes from Jack Nicholson, "We're in the business of saving lives, something something something..." Well, I can't type that fast so I kind of missed the end of the quote. Now Demi Moore is confronting Tom Cruise while he plays baseball - something about him not being fit to handle the defense. "You went to Harvard Law and then joined the Navy. Probably because that's what your father wanted you to do." This is a good movie! Lots of tension and driven dialogue.

Welcome to my holiday vacation. If you think this posting makes no sense it is because I have sneezed and coughed my brains out. I keep asking Brent if I should go to the hospital and he says, "No. You just have a cold." And I think, how can this be JUST a cold? But, maybe I think I am dying of a sniffly nose because I cannot stand being any level of discomfort. I don't like my feet to hurt. I don't like the temperature to be anything but slightly warm. My house is always a reliable 79 degrees, even if I have to take out a second mortgage on my first born son(!) to pay the $600 heat bill. I drive to the store even when it is a block away, because being outside even for a minute is such an unpleasant, slightly uncomfortable experience. I need to have the TV and computer on at the same time in case there is a commercial or slow internet connection and nothing is entertaining me for 30 seconds. I secretly wish I could de-claw my cats because there is the possibility that their claws could snag my arm. I lied to the nurses and got a second epidural like an hour after my first to ensure a pain free delivery. I. did. not. feel. any. pain. pushing. my. child. into. the. world. This is something I am DEEPLY proud of. Just thinking of natural childbirth makes me run into another room and scream. In fact, I didn't even want them to put Jack on my chest until he was cleaned off. (But I had enough sense to not articulate this and I did let them put his bloody, internal liquid-y covered body on mine. But I made an invisible OMGEWWYUCK face inside my head to get through it). Also they tried to make me put my hand on the top of his head as he was, you know, exiting AND they showed me the PLACENTA which I specifically did not want to see and can never remove that memory unless I get Alzheimer's which probably isn't worth it since that is a very scary and tragic disease I do not want. Probably filled with miles of discomfort. I'll just stoically avoid the image of the warm, fresh placenta dangling off the doctor's fingertips as she flayed it open like an accordion fan in front of our faces, cooing "It's the Tree Of Life." But, this is getting into the whole birth story post which I will not have the energy to write until he's five years old. After which reading you will all judge me a lot and say things like, how can she live on the West Coast? Is she really a Liberal? Poor Jackson.

I did make New Years Resolutions. They don't involve trying to improve my grammar, senseless rambling, or self involved speeches. They do involve being a NICER person. So, I'll let you know how that goes. Or maybe you will let me know.

If you want to see real images of a placenta you can go here or here.
But I wouldn't recommend it. I didn't take any pictures of mine. I didn't bury it in my backyard. I didn't eat it or make tea with it. I did, however, put it in my blog, so maybe that will provide a little nourishment, eh?


  1. Bekah, I also abhor discomfort. This entry left me feeling comforted. Thank you.

  2. Placenta = Gross. Happy to have been a part of getting you the second epidural.

  3. The part I identify with:

    "I need to have the TV and computer on at the same time in case there is a commercial or slow internet connection and nothing is entertaining me for 30 seconds."

  4. Bekah, you're the next Erma Bombeck!

  5. oh dear, it's worse than I thought. lucky for you, you're funny :)

  6. for the record, I did not eat, make tea, or bury the placenta, but I certainly wasn't creeped out by it. I need to take you to some hippy classes...

  7. okay so thats it. thats the whole shebang you are going to say dolly parton was on and then not say why or what she was doing. jerk.

    also, i always always make sure to buy extra soft toilet paper since i use that to wipe my nose with 90% of the time


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